Crowds of 10,000+ who have travelled for more than an hour just to watch a gate being closed was not something I expected to see in India - or anywhere. But this gate is not any old gate, it is the India-Pakistan border gate and each night it closes in a display of the most camp military pomp possible. If it weren't a display with years of history attached, it would be ridiculous in the extreme - actually even with this, it is still ridiculous.
Soldiers on both the Indian and Pakistani sides are dressed in full ceremonial military costume, including mighty turbans with elaborate fan decorationss attached to the top. At the sound of a shout from the guardroom, a squad of Indian soldiers marched out of the gates and began to perform a military drill of macho posturing and ludicrously high goose-stepping, designed to out-do the Pakistani side. Head held stifflly erect, with flinty glare, they started on a routine of flicky-kneed marches, a buttock-clenching half-walk, half-run and innumerable salutes and presentations of arms.
On the other side, the Pakistanis retaliated with yet more ridiculous marches and salutes, eyes bulging in mock fury and chests puffed up like roosters.
Many people, including Sanjeev Bhaskar and my travel idol, Michael Palin, have compared the scene to the Ministry of Silly Walks. And who am I to disagree? It is the Ministry of Silly Walks! At one point one of the soldiers executed such a high kick that his leg went way above his head and he threatened to knock his own block off!
This nightly event is now so popular with both Indians and Pakistanis, that grandstands have beenbuilt to hold the 10,000 people who travel to the border every evening at sunset just to see it. The stands were jam-packed when we got there and the atmosphere was full of expectation. All around me the air was pulsing to the sound of a mass of people roaring and flag-waving with Hindustani pride, all egged on by an unlikely warm-up man is a shiny white tracksuit. It felt more like a football match.
In the ladies' stand, far from being a quieter affair, the Indian women were noisier than the men. Punching their fists into the air, they shouted as one, 'Long live Hindustan!'
For a heavily guarded military border, the organisation was what can only be described as cheerful bedlam and chaos. As the action started people surged forward and started to stand up fro a better view, only to be put firmly back in place with a piercing whistle blast and some rather heavy-handed shoves from the soldiers in charge of security.
As the display continued, the crowd bellowed ever louder, furiously rattling their little plastic flags, until the moment when the flags on both sides were lowered simultaneously, the commanders shook hands so briefly you barely saw it and the gates were literally slammed shut. But instead of staying closed, the Pakistani gate, bounced open again slightly, to the Indian crowd's great delight. They howled in derision at this cock-up of precision drilling from their sworn enemy and taunting whistles and cheers filled the grandstand.
Then suddenly, it was all over as soon as it had begun. The crowds quickly dispersed probably thinking, as I did, that it was the most impressive closing of a gate they had ever seen.
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